Dinner with the Host Club
by Freida5
Summary: An innocent question posed to Haruhi results in all of the Host Club donning aprons and trying their hand at cooking. Bunnies, fire, and hilarity ensues.


Hi everyone, and welcome to another super duper, ultra special, patent-pending Freida5 drabble! I don't own Ouran High school host club, but it does happen to be one of my favorite animes. Enjoy!

"So Haruhi-Kun, what have you been doing in your spare time?"

"Oh yes, do you have any hobbies you like to do?"

"I bet whatever it is you're very talented at it."

It was a normal day at Ouran academy, and like usual it's one and only Host Club was in full swing. Haruhi was sitting at a table, sharing tea and cookies with 'his' three patrons. The girls leaned in closer as Haruhi smiled gently at them "well, I'm not sure about that. Between keeping my grades up and the host club I don't have much free time." He put a thoughtful finger to his cheek "you might say that you ladies are my hobby."

The three girls tittered happily and blushed, but continued to press him "Oh come on, there has to be one thing you're good at. Some special talent you've been keeping secret, hmm?" asked one girl mischievously.

At the mention of 'secret' she suddenly realized she had an audience. Takashi, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Kyoya were all lending an ear to the conversation. Hikaru grinned weakly and tried to ignore them "I don't know… I help around the house a lot. I can do a little sewing though I'm not very good at that…" each girl immediately blushed as they thought of receiving an embroidered handkerchief from him. She continued "I'm good with animals, but we can't keep any in the apartment." Their blush deepened as they imagined long walks alone in the woods with a cute little terrier and an even cuter boy.

But what really did them in was when Haruhi finally tapped her fist into her palm in recognition "Ah, I got it." She grinned at them happily "I'm a terrific cook!"

Their collective imagining showed them Haruhi with tousled hair facing a stove in sweatpants but no shirt. Haruhi gave them his own special smile and said "You're finally up sleepy head? I was going to wake you, but you looked so peaceful lying there. So I came down and made breakfast instead." The dream girls sat down at the breakfast table and Haruhi set a gigantic plate of bacon, eggs, and pancakes in front of them. "Almost forgot the tea." Haruhi said innocently as he set it next to the plate. He leaned down and whispered into her ear. "And… how about a little sugar for it?"

"Ladies? Ladies, are you alright?"

Haruhi was suddenly standing over them; unfortunately back in his school uniform. He was waving a napkin in their faces, trying to cool them off "all three of you just turned bright red and collapsed! Should I call a doctor?" he asked, his soft brown eyes brimming with worry.

"N-no, we're quite alright." One girl stammered as they pulled out their pocket handkerchiefs to wipe at their brows embarrassed.

"Well at least drink some water or something." He said sitting back down with a sigh "you ladies scared me. If you're not feeling well, please just tell me. I'll take you to the nurse's office."

"Oh Haruhi-kun, you're so kind!"

"But to think that you can cook! It suits you very well actually."

"Wow, now I really want to try some of Haruhi-kun's food!"

At that point Kyoya moved on, jotting something down in his book and turning to talk to the girls behind him. Tamaki and the twins came by to annoy her and flirt with her customers, but they eventually left to go back to their own Ladies. It was a good day, and Haruhi entertained at least a dozen guests. She didn't mind hosting so much, but she was always glad when the clock finally struck five, meaning it was time to close up shop and time to become 'her' again.

Haruhi stretched and yawned "O.k. guys, see you tomorrow."

A hand suddenly appeared on her shoulder "Not so fast Haruhi."

"Kyoya? What's up?" she said, turning to face the older boy.

He adjusted his glasses smartly "Do you have any idea what you have just discovered Haruhi? We very rarely have three ladies swoon simultaneously unless Tamaki is using his full force charm."

"Hmm? Oh you mean the first three girls." She shrugged "I don't think it was anything I did. But is that why Tamaki is sulking this time?" She glanced over to the corner where a raincloud was thundering away over Tamaki's head.

"He feels a little threatened by this sudden upset of popularity. What other reason could make him feel down?"

Haruhi grimaced "any reason is good enough for him."

Hearing his name, Tamaki jumped up, the image of a grievously wronged noble. "You'd be sulking too, Haruhi! I work my fingers to the bone to make the ladies happy, and what do you do? You just let slip that you're handy in the kitchen and they're in a quivering pile at your feet!"

"Sorry Sempai, but I can't help it if I can cook. I have to if my dad wants to eat anything between jobs."

He still wasn't pleased. Honey scampered over, Mori following slowly behind. Honey slapped him on the arm jovially "aw, don't feel bad Tama-chan, there's a lot of stuff Haru-chan can do that you can't!"

A small vein appeared on Tamaki's forhead "Such as…" he asked in a dangerous tone.

At this point the twins popped up "I don't know boss, but she can understand other people better than you." Hikaru said

"She can go through a day without a temper tantrum." Kaoru pointed out

Oblivious to Tamaki's stony expression Honey finished happily "and she can sleep without a teddy bear!"

"That's the respect I get!" sobbed Tamaki, dramatically throwing up his arms "I act as father to all of you and what do I get in return? Nothing but ridicule and scorn!"

"Yep, that's about it." The twins said together.

Tamaki gave chase as the twins ran around the room laughing at him. Kyoya coughed into his hand and continued. "Back to the topic at hand, no less than thirty girls mentioned that they would want to try something Haruhi had cooked. I believe this is quite a popular notion among our clientele." Kyoya paused to look in his book, then said to Haruhi, "I have my theories, but I would want to get your opinion on the matter. Why would girls find a boy that cooks more attractive?"

Haruhi crossed her arms in thought "I would want a guy who cooks because it means I wouldn't always be the one stuck with that chore."

Suddenly Kaoru and Hikaru popped up on either side of her, arms crossed in front of them in an X shape "Buu-buuu, wrong answer" they chorused.

"You're thinking the wrong income bracket Haruhi." Kaoru said on her left "We can hire different chefs for ever day of the week."

"So why would anyone need a boyfriend who could cook?" echoed Hikaru on her right.

"You really are all clueless aren't you!" a loud grinding noise came from the center of the room, and a little black sign with the words 'powerful motor' popped into the air. Renge once again glided up into view atop her moving pedestal, a bowl in one hand and a wooden spoon in another with an apron over her school uniform. She gave the bowl a quick stir before continuing "the first thing is that women always love a good role reversal."

"Role reversal?" Tamaki gasped, hands on knees from chasing the twins "like switching gender roles? But women come here to be pampered by real men!"

_And what is that supposed to mean?_ Haruhi thought to herself disgruntled.

"Don't worry, a little goes a long way." She said, still stirring "men doing some women's chores shows they're sensitive and in tune with their feminine side. Not only that, but it softens their overall appearance. In short, it means the guy's not a total meat head."

"Why should a soft image be so important? Mori and kyoya are popular and they're kind of… what's the word… well, stern looking." Haruhi said, no insult intended.

"Oh Haruhi, you still have so much to learn. Sensitivity is the whole reason the 'natural' type character is so popular! In fact you couldn't have picked a better character trait if you tried!"

"But there are other ways to be sensitive. Why would a nice meaningful gift not suffice?" Kyoya said, scribbling notes in his book.

"Ah, but there's another reason, one that's even more important!" Renge pointed a suspiciously clean the spoon at him "it's the one commodity that even the wealthy are hard pressed to find! Privacy!"

"Privacy?" they all asked incredulously.

Renge tossed her hair pleased with herself "It's all fine and good to invite a girl on a dinner date for some alone time, but if there are chefs and waiters running around the effect is ruined. Cooking your own dinner means the two of you can truly be alone. Not only that, but it means you're going the extra mile to win the heart of that special someone." She clasped her hands together, blushing and flipping the bowl to show it was empty.

A sweat drop appeared on Haruhi's head "why even bother with the bowl if there's nothing in it?" she asked.

Renge looked down and righted the bowl instantly "They're called props, O.k.? I'm setting the mood." She snapped as she started to slowly descend into the floor again. "Cooking is a way to show you care, that you're kind! And on top of that, it tastes great!" her laugh was cut off as the floor slid smoothly together, hiding the hole she had just appeared from.

They all turned as Tamaki held a hand to his chin "hmm. This sounds like a good idea! Alright men! If it's what the Ladies want, it's what the Ladies will get! Tomorrow we'll hold a little dinner party where we all cook something."

The others looked at him taken aback. Haruhi spoke up "Tamaki… is that really a good Idea? We have about fifty people a day, more if there's a special event like this one. Where will we get the ingredients or the space to cook?"

"Don't worry about the details. I'll take care of it." Kyoya said with a smile.

She looked over the other boys, face falling "There's also the fact that I don't think any of you guys know how to even turn on a stove."

Tamaki whirled over and clasped her by the shoulders "that's where you come in of course! Being a fine chef yourself, naturally you would help everyone along with their dishes."

"Whoa, hold on a minute!" She said holding up her hands "I'm not going to be able to help everyone and cook my own dish at the same time!"

Tamaki was knocked out of the way as Honey suddenly grabbed her by the hands, his eyes sparkling "Haru-chan, will you help me make a strawberry cake?" he asked with a grin.

At that point, Kaoru and Hikaru pounced on Tamaki "what are you thinking? If Haruhi wants to bring in some cookies or something that's fine. But don't drag us into this!" Hikaru hissed at him.

"We don't know the first thing about cooking, it'll be a disaster!" Kaoru seconded.

"Now calm down you two. How hard can following a recipe be? We all get decent grades in chemistry; it should be about the same thing."

"Yeah, but nobody eats what we make in the lab. What if we give one of our guests food poisoning? Attendance will go down the drain!"

"One undercooked piece of meat and the club could be finished! Let the people who know what they're doing take care of it."

Tamaki winced and started fidgeting with his fingers. "That's true… but if Haruhi makes something and I don't, she might become more popular than me!"

Two tic marks appeared on the twins foreheads. They were about to let their boss have it when a small cough came from behind them. They turned to see that Kyoya's eyes were hidden by the light reflecting off his glasses. "Having second thoughts? I thought the two of you would be the ones happiest with this turn of events."

"What?"

He turned to look at Haruhi and Honey. She was laughing and said "I think we'll only need a few cartons of strawberries, not a whole ton Sempai."

"A whole afternoon. Being helped constantly. By Haruhi." Kyoya said it slowly as a look of awe spread over their faces. He turned to the room at large and said "If all of you would kindly find a recipe you would like to make for tomorrow, we shall sort out the dishes then. Good day." And with that he left the music room.

Haruhi looked over to Tamaki and the twins with a smile "Well, it will be hectic for sure, but this could be a lot of fun!"

The three grinned back "oh yeah, a lot of fun." Tamaki said to himself.

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"I…I can't believe it. What is with you rich people?"

Haruhi was simply staggered by it. A room about the size of her entire apartment building was secretly tucked into the west wing of the school. A long marble counter lined one side of the room while a bank of ovens and gas range tops ran along the other. Stainless steel islands swam in the middle, laden with knives, spatulas, whisks, rolling pins, blenders, skewers, fondue pots, food processer's meat thermometers, and dozens of tools she had no idea how to use. The spice rack alone was as tall as she was, and there were three separate enormous rooms for the walk in pantry, fridge, and freezer. This kitchen belonged in a four star restaurant in France, not in a high school.

"Some of the students going here are continuing family restaurants, or hope to open their own." Kyoya said as he passed the slacked jawed Haruhi. "So the school has prepared this room for their hands on learning."

"I can't believe you're still shocked by this Haruhi. Don't you know we have everything at this school?" Hikaru winked at her as he slid past her.

"Wait, is this room separate from the school cafeteria?"

"Of course it is, the chefs need another kitchen for that. This is just the student kitchen." Said Kaoru.

"So there are two of these kitchens…"

"Oh no, the cafeteria kitchen is a bit bigger than this, but we'll manage somehow." Tamaki said "But enough of that! What dishes will the rest of you be cooking?"

"Dessert, dessert!" Honey said, jumping up and down. "I'm going to do strawberry cake and Takashi will do his own dish!" Mori nodded silently.

The twins put their hands up "We decided on halibut braised in a white wine sauce."

Tamaki glanced at them "for people who don't know a thing about cooking that sounds pretty fancy."

"Oh it's simple enough. We just leave it in the oven for a while and it'll be fine."

They smiled at each other in a way that put Haruhi on edge, but Tamaki continued "alright, I've already decided that I will be cooking the soup course. Haruhi, what will you be making?"

She scratched her head "I thought about it, but I don't really have a recipe that's fancy enough for the tastes at this school. I'm not sure what I can cook that the ladies will eat."

"Don't worry about that. In fact, the ladies might like the idea of trying some common people food."

"Common people food?"

"Sure! Make something that goes along with instant coffee."

Haruhi stared blankly at Takashi, who was still pleased with himself by his own brilliant idea. But Kyoya stepped in "he has a point Haruhi-kun. Our guests might be intrigued by a dish that they've never eaten before. Besides, they'll want to try anything you put in front of them." He said all of this over his shoulder while he busied himself at a counter.

"O.k. then…" she said slowly "how about meatloaf."

Tamaki and the twins backed up in horror "M-meatloaf?!?"

"I said common food, but isn't that taking it a little too far?" Tamaki asked shaken

"Hmm? What's wrong with meatloaf?"

"Haruhi, I hear even common people hate that dish!" Kaoru said scandalized.

"I heard it was made out of ground up scraps that nobody in their right mind would eat!" Hikaru said shocked.

"Um, no. you might be thinking about scrapple though."

"So people really do eat ground up table scraps?" Tamaki sunk to his knees "Oh Haruhi, no wonder you dream every night of fancy tuna. To think what horrible meals common people have to get by on!"

Haruhi scowled at her melodramatic friends "guys, meatloaf is just a big meatball with onions in it. It's not gross or anything."

"Well, if Haru-chan cooks it, I want to try it!" Honey said pumping his fist in the air.

"And that's the feeling most of our ladies will have. Go ahead and make it Haruhi." Kyoya nodded and settled himself at the island with a calculator.

She didn't like the idea of Kyoya getting distracted by finances before he even started his dish. "What are you going to be cooking Kyoya-Sempai?" Haruhi asked.

"Oh, I'm done already."

"Wait, what?"

He pointed to a large bowl of salad on the counter. The twins were up in arms in an instant "That's cheating! You didn't have to cook a thing!" they said together.

"You're right of course, I didn't cook the lettuce. But I did make a nice raspberry and sherry vinaigrette to go with it." He opened several checkbooks and began to balance them. "I did it while you three were talking about Haruhi's meatloaf."

Haruhi picked up a big crystal container of a purplish red salad dressing "Work smarter not harder I guess." She said setting the salad in the fridge so it would stay fresh "O.K., so do you guys have the recipes?"

She wasn't surprised when Honey suddenly wailed "oh, that's what I left at home! I forgot Haru-chan, But I don't really need it do I? I just throw some eggs and flour into a bowl and-"

"No, no, you really do need a recipe" Haruhi said, snagging the bag of flour he was heading for before he could make a mess. "Look, there's probably a ton of cookbooks around here somewhere. Find a recipe for yellow sponge cake and you'll be set to go."

"Rodger!" he said and zoomed off to find the books, Mori following steadily behind.

"Oh that's right. I forgot to say make sure you make a triple the recipe. We don't know how many guests we'll be feeding." She said to everyone _and I might just be able to snag some leftovers for dinner tomorrow._ She added silently.

The twins exchanged looks "I'm going to the bathroom quick." Hikaru said and walked casually out the door.

Haruhi looked strangely at Kouru who whistled. The twins were acting pretty nonchalant about the whole thing. But suddenly Tamaki was beside her "Um Haruhi? Could you help me with something?"

"Yeah what is it?" she noticed he clutched a well worn, leather bound cookbook in his hands, open to the page he was using.

"I can't tell the difference between onions. Which one is a yellow one?"

"How about the ones that are yellow?"

Tamaki Jolted and looked back at the recipe "Huh, that would make a lot of sense wouldn't it?" he said sheepishly.

Haruhi smiled at him "Come on, I need to go find some Vidalias, I'll help you pick out yours."

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Haruhi had just managed to put her meatloaf in the oven when she spotted her first disaster. Tamaki was paging frantically through his book, a pile of misshapen lumps of onions in front of him. "Need a little help Sempai?" she asked, trying to keep a smile from her face.

"I'm doing perfectly fine on my own!" he said airily, picking up a giant meat carving knife and flailing it at the pile in front of him, reducing the chunks to shreds.

"Tamaki, you're going to cut a finger off like that!" Haruhi said sternly, picking the right knife from the block "Now what kind of cut do you need?"

"What kind of cut?"

"Do you need it chopped up or in rings?"

"Oh, rings! Yeah, that kind."

She grabbed an onion and sliced off the first two layers. Tamaki tilted his head curiously "Sempai, don't tell me you didn't peel those things first?" she asked exasperated.

"Why would you need to?"

"You don't eat the papery stuff, it tastes like crap."

"ohhh."

_Either I'm going to be making this entire dish or it's going to turn out horribly._ Haruhi said to herself with a sigh. She cut the ends off and sliced it long ways, making sure Tamaki could watch and do it himself. She finally cut the rings into thin slices and handed the blade back to Tamaki "think you can do it?"

"I really want to try." Tamaki said. He gulped and grabbed another onion. He concentrated so hard on peeling it carefully and slicing it in half that his tongue started to poke out.

She was going to watch him finish when she heard a cry of joy from Honey. She turned around curiously and gasped. He had just taken the yellowcake out of the oven and had stacked them all up into a giant tower that looked like it could teeter over at any second.

"Honey-sempai, what are you doing?" she cried and raced over. She grabbed the stack and undid it quickly, singing her fingers in the process.

"Aww, I thought since you said triple everything we were making a nine layer cake." He said pouting.

"No Honey, three cakes three layers each. You couldn't eat a cake that's nine layers tall."

He scuffed his shoe against the ground "I thought it'd be cool. I wanted the cake to be as big as me…"

Haruhi sighed and said "hey, you want a tip to make your cake even more fancy?" his face lit up at that, so she went over to the first cake. She grabbed a strawberry from the counter, de-stemmed it, and sliced it thinly into four pieces. "Here, once you start icing them stick these in between the layers too." She demonstrated by placing her slices in the middle of the cake. "That way there's a ton more strawberries in every slice."

"Wow Haru-chan, that's really cool!" he tried to slice his own strawberry and she was glad to see his knife skills were marginally better than Tamaki's. He grinned up at her "you must be a cooking genius huh?"

"Aw, I wouldn't say that. But thanks Honey." She suddenly felt a tap on the top of her head. She turned and looked up at Mori, who was holding a tray. "Do you need help Sempai?" she asked.

He shook his head and lowered the tray so she could see what was on it. Little oval bunnies peered up at her, with tiny red eyes, upright ears and little poufy tails. "M-mori, they're adorable!" she said, pleasantly surprised.

He nodded "I make these for Mitsukuni."

"Takashi did his special marzipan bunnies!" Honey said excited. He tried to reach up for one but Mori held the tray out of his reach.

"They're for the guests this time." Mori said calmly as Honey jumped for them.

She sighed "well that's one more dish I don't have to worry about." Maybe she would go back and see how Tamaki was doing-

That was when she spotted the twins. Hikaru was busily working away, but at his videogame instead of his dish. Kouru was leaning over his shoulder watching him play. "Um, guys? Shouldn't you be working on your fish?"

"It's in the oven. It'll be a while before it's done" Hikaru said, pausing to look up at her.

"I thought you said you were braising your fish. You do that on a stovetop."

The twins exchanged glances "Eh, we must have said it wrong." Kouru said "what is it when you wrap it in foil and put it in the oven?"

"That's just normal baking."

"That's what we're doing then! We're just baking the trout with some wine and spices."

"I thought you said it was halibut." Haruhi looked at them hard "You know I didn't see any fish around the kitchen. You are cooking, right?"

The twins stood, resembling two insulted cats "Of course we are! How dare you insinuate we don't pull our weight?"

"Sorry, Sorry, I guess I was wrong. Although… I don't smell anything either. Whether trout or halibut, if you were baking fish you'd smell it by now."

The twins leaned around Haruhi, looking past her "that's strange. All I smell is Tamaki burning something." They chorused.

She turned to see a pot of stock overflowing on a stove, Tamaki fretting nearby "Gah, Tamaki what are you doing!? Turn it off!" she cried, racing over. She lunged for the dial to shut off the burner, but a small splash of soup boiled up and got her hand.

"Haruhi! Haruhi, are you alright? Tamaki asked horrified. He gingerly took her injured hand "to think that I burned you, Oh Haruhi, how could I ever face myself in the mirror knowing that I harmed you!" A thought dawned on him "Oh god, you're going to have a scar aren't you! I knew it; you'll have a big red burn on your hand for the rest of your life and it's all my fault! No! I just ruined your chances for marriage in one fell swoop!" he turned from her, tears in eyes "No boy would want a wife with a deformity… but know this Haruhi, no matter what befalls you in your hard life, I will always be by your side!"

When he turned around to finish his speech, he saw Haruhi across the room at the sink. She looked back over her shoulder "Hmm? Oh are you done? I'm just running some cold water on the burn, but it'll be fine in a minute.

Tamaki's face dropped, realizing his heartfelt speech had been coldly ignored. "You can relax Sempai, you don't get a scar from a little boiling water. I'm sure I'm still marriageable." She said. It was then she got to glance at the cookbook he was using. "French onion soup? Is that what you're making?"

"Oh, Yeah." Tamaki was suddenly off of his high horse and he scooped up the book hastily.

"Hey, that book looks pretty old. Where did you get it from?"

"Ah, well, it was my mothers."

"Oh." Haruhi turned off the faucet and dried her hand. "That must be nice, learning a recipe from her."

Tamaki grinned weakly "well she never used it. She wasn't very good in the kitchen. But she said her grandmother used to whip up stuff all the time out of this book." Tamaki looked at the book with a soft smile "I remember once I wanted to try cooking something out of this book like my great grandmother did. The same recipe I'm cooking now in fact, French onion soup." He coughed "Um, you can probably tell how that turned out, seeing as I didn't know how to peel onions."

Haruhi chuckled. Tamaki grinned at her "But now that you're here, I can get some help with the recipe. I bet my ancestor would be pleased to know her book is seeing use again."

"Yeah, it sounds great." Haruhi said "just a tip, don't turn the burner all the way up. For this kind of soup, a low simmer is fine."

"Thanks! This is going to be great Haruhi, just you wait!" they stayed there for a moment enjoying each other's company.

"Um Haruhi? Is that your oven?"

The moment was broken as a gout of flame shot out of the oven Haruhi's dish was residing in "Wha! Oh man, my meatloaf!" She raced over to the oven and tried to open it, but another shot of flames came out. Suddenly Mori was beside her with a fire extinguisher. They nodded to each other and Haruhi reached for a nearby dishtowel and flicked it at the oven door. It snagged the handle and she yanked the door open as Mori sprayed the white foam into the oven, putting out the fire.

They all stared at the blackened lump of soot in the center of a sea of foam. "Oh my Haruhi, one of those ovens cost quite a lot." Said Kyoya, finger's itching towards the calculator.

She shot him a look of annoyance "it wasn't my fault. Look." She pointed to the hose that lead from the stove to the fuel line. A small drip of amber colored gas was leaking from it. "I guess you guys never use these oven often enough so you don't perform regular maintenance on them."

Kyoya frowned at that "I'll have a word with the ground's keepers."

"That won't save Haruhi's dish you idiot!" Tamaki said angrily "now what will she do?"

"Relax Tamaki-Sempai. The meatloaf would have been overcooked anyway."

"Huh?"

She scratched her head, looking at the black mess "I set the timer to go off about fifteen minutes ago. What the heck happened to it?"

Hikaru and Kaoru shifted uncomfortably. "Er… that thing was beeping for like five minutes, but you were busy helping other people."

"So we kinda turned it off?"

"You… what?"

The twins grinned nervously and started backing away "You were talking to Tamaki, and it looked like you were having fun!"

Her face was hidden by her hair as she stared at her ruined meatloaf. The twins jumped behind Tamaki, frightened "hey, what are you doing?" he asked annoyed.

"Well she was talking to you when it burned." Kaoru said.

"So you're our shield when she explodes." Hikaru finished.

"e-explodes?" he said fearfully, looking over Haruhi and her stormy expression. He tried to shove past the twins, but they held firm. "N-n-now Haruhi, I'm sure this was all just one big mistake!" he said frantically as her silence stretched on. "Yeah, no need to blow this all out of proportion, you can just make another one right?"

They jolted as she slowly turned to face them, imagining thunderclouds and lightning floating around her head. Her face still hidden in shadow, she uttered a single word "pizza."

"GAAHHHH! We're sorry, we're sorry! We'll get you anything you like!" they all screamed, but suddenly blinked "Huh? Pizza?"

She blinked back surprised "what's gotten into you guys? I said I'll make some pizzas instead. It'll be faster than trying to cook another meatloaf." She scowled at the oven "and I'll make sure the oven I use isn't a piece of crap either."

"I do apologize for that. I never would have thought we kept inferior quality equipment at this school." Kyoya said, still displeased.

"Mistakes happen. Who knows how many meatloaves I destroyed before I got the recipe down?" She ducked into the freezer and grabbed some frozen dough. "We still have about an hour before the dinner starts, right? This will be done in no time."

"Wow. No matter what happens you just bounce back!" Honey said impressed as he went back to his dessert. Haruhi twitched when she saw he was getting ready to ice his cake. She hoped Mori would help him with that, or it might get messy. Well she would worry about her own dish first.

About three quarters of an hour later she was popping her first four cheese pizza into the oven and leaned back with a sigh. She gazed around the kitchen to see how the other boys were doing. Honey was finally getting his icing under control, although he had splattered the whole front of his uniform with it. Tamaki was perusing the book, slowly stirring his soup with the other hand.

Once again, the twins were goofing off. She wandered over "that fish has been cooking for what, an hour and a half? It should be well done by now."

"Oh right! We were just about to do the dramatic reveal!" everyone turned to watch as they got up and went over to an oven. Fully synchronized, they popped it open and pulled out a beautifully prepared fish. (A salmon Haruhi noticed) and plopped it on the table "Voilà, our masterpiece!" they said together.

Tamaki dropped his spoon into the pot in shock. The twins, who didn't want to do this in the first place, suddenly make a beautiful dish like that? With no help at all from Haruhi? He could just imagine them inviting her to their mansion, plying her with handmade fancy tuna and fresh crab. She would be in their clutches before she even realized she was in danger! He saw them in their mind's eye, slowly getting closer and closer to kissing her over a beautifully cooked candle lit dinner-

He was brought out of his morbid daydream by two identical yelps. He shook his head, clearing his vision to see Haruhi holding each twin by an ear and looking thunderous. "Alright you two, I didn't see either one of you so much as touch a knife the entire day. Who really cooked this?"

"We did! We swear!" they said, trying to get free.

"Yeah right guys, the garnish is already on the plate you just took out of the oven." She said, nodding at the parsley next to the fish.

"Then the white take out boxes I saw you getting from your family car about five minutes ago wasn't really fresh ingredients?" Kyoya asked innocently from his seat at the island.

The twins urked in unison as Haruhi sighed in disgust and let them go "Seriously you guys, this was supposed to be something fun to try. You didn't have to make something so over the top if you didn't know how to cook."

Tamaki stormed over "this is a serious problem you two! The ladies want something made by you two, not your fancy chefs from home!"

"So just say we cooked this. No one will know the difference." Kaoru said

"Until they ask you how you made it. You don't even know what kind of fish this is, let alone how it was cooked." Haruhi pointed out.

Hikaru crossed his arms bullishly "then we won't serve it, we won't present anything."

"I'm afraid you can't do that. Your fan base would be completely crushed if you didn't make something for them. Then they might not try any of the other dishes, making the rest of the ladies uncomfortable." Kyoya tapped a pen against his mouth. "Yet I don't think even Haruhi can make two dishes in the next fifteen minutes. This is rather a problem."

They all stood there, the three of them gazing at the twins and the two of them staring belligerently back "We just wanted to make sure the ladies didn't have to eat our crap." Hikaru muttered.

"You could have done anything though. Heck, Mori made something out of marzipan. That's just shaping it and adding decorations." Haruhi was wrapped in thought. Was there something she could make that quickly? Only simple snacks like fruit salad or sandwiches, and neither of them seemed appetizing. There had to be something-

Ding!

Ding? "Is that my pizza?" she said confused. No, there was still a few minutes left on those. Then she spotted Mori bending over and oven and pulling out a tray. Instantly the kitchen was washed in a warm and savory smell.

"Ah, they're ready!" Honey said grinning. He turned to the others "Takashi was bored finishing his bunnies early, so he made some bread!"

"You know how to make bread too?" Haruhi was once again pleasantly surprised. She didn't know Mori knew how to bake.

"Kneading is good hand exercise." He said. He looked over to Kaoru and Hikaru and held out the baking tray.

"This one is sour dough, and this one is oatmeal!" Honey said, pointing from one to the other "You guys can each send one of them out as your own, and they'll go great with the soup Tama-chan is making!"

The twins looked at each other and shrugged "That'll work." They said, and each grabbed a loaf.

Behind them Tamaki reared up in fury "you two may have a home made dish to present, but that doesn't get you out of trouble." He said eyes glinting. "Now we need to think of a fitting punishment for the two of you."

"Tamaki, I would like to remind you that we do need servers to bring out the dishes…" Kyoya said.

"Aha, perfect! The two of you will wait on the Ladies while we entertain our guests." Tamaki said pleased "and no trying the food! You don't cook, you don't eat."

Haruhi stepped between the two as the twins looked more and more angry "that's a little harsh Tamaki. I'm mad at them too, but they should be able to try some of the food."

"But they sat around while Mori did all of the work! And they ruined your dish. I think it's completely fair they don't get any rewards for their tricks."

"They didn't mean to ruin my dish, that was an accident."

"I'm sure they 'accidentally' let your dish catch fire and didn't tell you. They're selfish brats who didn't learn a thing from this whole experience-

"We learned one thing."

The two of them twirled around to see the twins pulling Haruhi's pizzas from the oven, the cheese melted to the exact right consistency and the crust golden brown. "When the oven timer beeps" Hikaru started "Don't shut it off." Kaoru finished.

They slid the pizzas onto the table to cool and turned back to the others, hands linked behind their heads. "Just do whatever, we don't mind serving food" Kaoru said, not looking at them.

Hikaru glanced to the food beside him "we don't even need to eat anything. But… could we try Haruhi's dish?"

Tamaki stared at them for a moment then smiled "Well, that's as close to an apology we're ever going to get out of you two. Hikaru, Kaoru, you are formally charged with serving us and the ladies, and not touching a crumb of food until the party is over, understand?"

The two of them looked up surprised, but then grinned as well "Sure thing boss!" they chorused, saluting.

"The guests are starting to arrive." Kyoya said, poking his head out the door "Hikaru, Kaoru, if you two would begin setting out salads in the adjourning ball room?"

The twins raced to do what they were told and Haruhi nodded, happy it resolved well. But when she turned to tell the others good work, she spotted Honey, still smeared in creamy white icing "Honey, we have to get you in a new uniform before you go out there!" she groaned.

"Leave it to Takashi!" He said as the other boy raced out the door.

A sweat drop appeared on the back of her head "The cooking's over and I still have to help. It's not being in the kitchen that's difficult, it's just them."

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The dinner was a rousing success. At first the ladies were a little timid to try her pizza, but then Tamaki came over. "I assure you ladies that this is quite a popular dish over in America." He said, shedding rose petals from his most romantic background. "They eat it all the time over there"

With full force Tamaki and Haruhi's puppy eyes there was no choice but for them to tuck in. "Oh my, this is actually very good!" one girl said "the topping is fantastic!"

"Well with all the fancy cheeses in the kitchen I couldn't resist using some." She smiled at them warmly "I'm so pleased you ladies like it!"

They blushed and hid their faces behind napkins demurely. Tamaki moved off to the ladies that were trying his own dish. Haruhi watched him for a moment. Anytime someone complimented his soup he practically lit up the room with his smile. He was really happy he made his French onion soup perfectly.

Another scan around the room and she spotted Honey and Mori proudly presenting their desert. The girls gaped open mouthed from the marzipan bunnies to Mori and back before squealing in delight and trying some. They also praised Honey highly for "making the cake all by himself!" Which Haruhi raised an eyebrow to.

Kyoya's salad and the bread went over well. When asked why they were serving instead of hosting they swept a hand to their forehead "Oh, it's a tragic tale my ladies!" Kaoru said

"We were planning to have some middle schoolers be waiters so we could devote all of our attention to you beautiful ladies." Hikaru said brushing the hair of a girl with his long fingers. "But then the accident happened."

"Accident?"

"Haruhi's oven caught on fire. The poor kids didn't even stand a chance." Tears came to Kaoru's eyes "They got caught in the crossfire and scorched to cinders. They were taken to the morgue in an urn, already cremated."

The girls laughed and pushed them gently "you're such kidders!" they said as the two placed their orders in front of them and left.

_Don't go telling them I set an oven on fire!_ She said to herself crossly. But she guessed if they were adding the part about the cremated middle school kids, the rest of the story wouldn't be believed either.

The partly lasted way beyond five, the girls lingering with coffee and more Marzipan animals that Mori decided to make in front of them. Even though they were all oval shaped, the girls couldn't get enough of them.

Haruhi slipped back into the kitchen and fixed up two plates with everything. She picked them up carefully and brought them out to where Hikaru and Kaoru were leaning against the wall "Be careful, I reheated the soup and it's hot." She said handing it to them.

They gingerly tried it "Hey, not bad."

"The boss managed not to screw up this time." Hikaru chukled.

"Yeah. And he did that with no experience." Haruhi looked away, realizing the twins might still be sore about the prank they pulled.

they exchanged glances "Hey, we learned our lesson."

"I doubt it."

"No more pranks when it's really important." Kaoru said holding his hand over his heart "Especially when it's important to you Haruhi."

Touched, she smiled at them "thanks you two, but by tomorrow you'll still be causing trouble."

They each leaned an elbow on her shoulder "You know it. We wouldn't be us without causing trouble." They chorused, eyes mischievous.

"Hey, what are you two trying to pull?" Tamaki came over, hands on hips "Haruhi, if these two are bothering you-"

"You're the one bothering her."

"Buzz off."

He growled at them and they darted out of the way as he raged after them "Hey, stop! We still have our food!" they yelled. A bowl of soup accidentally slipped of the tray, splashing Tamaki in a particularly sensitive area and causing him to screech in agony.

"Sempai, you're making a mess." Haruhi said kneeling by Tamaki as he lay curled up in a fetal position. "And we still have to clean up now that the ladies are gone."

"Clean up?" he asked, his voice comically high.

"You know, do the dishes? Wipe down the counters, mop up spilled food, that kind of stuff."

"Aw, Haru-chan! You said we had to cook, not clean!" Honey said with a pout, coming over.

"Sorry Honey, you can't do one without the other."

"Just leave it to the handy men coming tomorrow Haruhi" Kyoya said coming over with a smug expression "we already cleaned up today. With a 2000 yen admission fee to cover the expense of labor and cost of ingredients-"

"Kyoya, this was supposed to be just for fun!"

"And we had our fun, and made a tidy profit too. I wouldn't be surprised if we made this an annual event." He added, marking down dates in his book.

Haruhi sagged "Just thinking about doing this all over again tires me out." The others went to leave as she helped Tamaki to his feet. The front of his pants was one big wet spot and his face was beet red. She looked up at him "Hey, you really did a great job with your soup."

He brushed at his trousers with a napkin futilely, hiding his pleased smile "Thanks Haruhi. It actually means a lot to me that I could make it. Embracing my heritage, and all."

"Well next time you want to cook, just tell me. I'll give you some advice if you need it."

He gripped her shoulder affectionately "I would love the help."

Haruhi squeezed his hand back and they parted. She let out a big sigh as she finally left the school grounds. As she walked home breathing in the crisp night air she smiled. Her prognosis from yesterday was right. Today was certainly hectic.

But it was also a lot of fun.


End file.
